Thank God No Olympics In Ireland
In this summer that is not a summer – when we have floods, road closures, train derailments and mudslides, when we have a bad June and July and then the entire average rainfall of August drops from the sky in a single day, when August has passed the record for rain with half of the month still to go (and it doesn’t look like it will improve), when everyone is talking about little else and everyone from the postman to novelists are reciting mournful soliloquies on the subject, then I’m just grateful that Ireland is not hosting the Olympics and is unlikely to ever do so.
Imagine the embarrassment we would feel when marathons would have to be cancelled, when sailors would be blown to France in a gale, when hurdlers would slip on the soggy track or when javelin throwers would have to hunt for their spears in the fog. In fact, we’d probably have to come up with our own events, simply to make sure at least some of the games could continue. If there was indeed an Irish Olympics, here would be my suggestions for events that would not be cancelled due to bad weather (and we might even increase our chances for a medal):
Ireland’s Top Ten Rainy Olympics Events:
- Puddle Jumping
- Main Street Canoe Race
- Mud Wrestling
- Sand Bag Piling
- Rain Dancing
- Bucket Emptying
- Wet T-Shirt Contest
- Climbing the Walls
- Water Polo
- Ark Building
This entry was posted on Monday, August 18th, 2008 at 12:04 pm and is filed under Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.